Kicking and Screaming

Footprints captionAnyone ever feel this way?  That God has taken you to places in your life not by peaceably carrying you or walking along side of you, but with you kicking and screaming every step of the way?  And in the end God finally had to drag you there?

I love this caption because it speaks so much truth about my life.  I was always satisfied just being a Sunday School girl, making an occasional comment or two, or just being a good choir girl.  I remember a prayer from years ago where I thanked God that I was not called into ministry.  I can only imagine now how God must have tilted His head back and laughed at that one knowing what would be in store for me later.  But I can not say I have accepted this call gracefully.  For the longest time I could not hear the call simply because it was not time, and I was not ready.  But then, I haven taken so many roundabouts that I became very disoriented and confused.  I was called into ministry, and I thought I would go into it through music.  So I went back to school as an adult as a music major.  I always felt my years as a music major were just stepping stones to something bigger.  I still really did not know what.  Then I wanted to get involved in some of the other ministries at my church.  Those doors did not open for me.

Then my story started to take a shape in a way which could be used for God’s glory.  I would hear the whispers of God as people would tell me, “You should write a book.”

“One day, maybe.”  Would be my reply.

And I kept saying “One day.”

For years.  I kept thinking my story has to have an end to growing, a solution to all my problems.

Then one day I was out walking, and I kept hearing the compelling voice saying, “One day is here.  One day is now.”

It wasn’t an audible voice, but one more like a toddler tugging on your shirt-tale repeatedly.  Not verbal, but persistent.  I did what Moses did, “You can’t mean me.”  And then I did what Abraham did, I laughed.  No not me.  Time went by.

The tugging did not cease.  Slowly I started compiling things.  But there are still so many unanswered questions.  I started blogging.  Doors started opening; at an almost frightening rate.

I may have seem to come peaceably to this place.  But I have not.  There are definite grooves where my footprints should be.

I still do not know what God has in store for me.  But I have a feeling it is more than I can ask for or imagine.  And by the way, I am terrified, kicking and screaming all the way on the inside, even if I don’t appear to be.  The bottom line is that I have to answer His call to me.

So what things have you been dragged to kicking and screaming?

About Holly D Russell

mom of four wonderful girls mom of faith

Posted on August 22, 2012, in Church, God, overcoming, speaking, Uncategorized, writing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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